i still exist would you believe it

(sorry for not blogging for like 3 weeks. also really really sorry for not reading any posts for even longer.)

school’s started and it’s been v full on along with co-curriculars. and socialising, man. it all really tires me out. i’ve literally been stressing bc i got invited to a bunch of parties (wow i sound like such a brat) and they’re all at times when i have co-curriculars. it just sucks that my mum will always have me miss the party instead of the co-curricular. anyways, i did get to go to a pool party yesterday and it was pretty fun and good weather!

i’ve also started doing art every day, i started doing it in my school art book since our teacher encouraged us to experiment in there (she’s fantastic i love her, she’s filling in for the first semester and she’s from South Africa), and i realised it makes me feel amazing so now i just find time to do it most days.

overall i’m actually proud of myself for handling everything and i think i’ve done pretty well at having a positive attitude even when i’m struggling. hope you’re all doing okay too, feel free to talk to me anytime if you want.

🙂 Luna

02 feb 2017

you know those people who everyone just likes to be around? like they make everyone comfortable and literally just have a contagious happy vibe? i find myself wondering if they struggle too. because surely everyone has problems and everyone has horrible days where they can barely pull up a smile. but i just wonder if they don’t ever feel terribly anxious. they’re so charismatic and out there. it seems ridiculous to imagine them being anxious people, but i know that sometimes it’s the people you least expect and the people who never let it show, and i of all people don’t want to be one who assumes that others just can’t have any problems – just because you can’t see it does not mean it doesn’t exist.

but i guess the real thing i find myself thinking is about how i wish i was just normal. i wish i didn’t assume you hated me just because you didn’t sit next to me. i wish i could walk into a room and not feel like everyone in there didn’t like me. because now it happens with my friends too. i’m doubting whether they actually like me. whether they feel like sitting next to me is a chore. and then i even doubt whether i’m just overreacting? like maybe everyone feels like this and i’m just too weak to handle it?

i feel like i can’t trust anyone including myself right now but i also feel stupid saying that because it’s my choice who i trust so why the fuck don’t i just trust someone

– Luna

just fangirling

hi. so i finally got all the harry potter books and i’m halfway through 4 (goblet of fire) right now but the books have really made me believe wholeheartedly that snape was just an absolute dick. like before i though yeah he’s okay there’s reasons for him acting like this it’s all part of the act he was hurting so much… NO. SEVERUS SNAPE WAS A TOTAL DICK FOR NO REASON OTHER THAN THAT THE GIRL HE WAS OBSESSED WITH DID NOT WANT TO BE WITH HIM. i will fight you on this one. i mean sure it’s tragic and yes he was really brave in the end but that simply does not change the fact that he was a dick (and also, his motivation was not because it was the right thing to do, it was because of Lily).

and now i just CANNOT BELIEVE THAT HARRY NAMED ONE OF HIS KIDS AFTER SNAPE AND JUST COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT REMUS LUPIN. HE WAS THE FIRST FATHER FIGURE HARRY REALLY HAD AND HE WAS ALWAYS LOOKING OUT FOR HARRY BUT DID HE GET ANY RECOGNITION? NOOO, ONLY SNAPE, WHO REMORSELESSLY BULLIED HARRY AND HIS FRIENDS FOR YEARS!

/ rant over. for now. /

anyways. i decided to watch the first episode of sherlock season 1 like a week ago and i was hooked in approximately 3.9 seconds and then duh i watched up until the very last episode of season 4. i literally became a teary mess when sherlock hugged john and the last episode was so crazy and incredible. and can we just talk about sherlock freaking out over planning john & mary’s wedding?! LITERALLY THE MOST ADORABLE THING EVER.

also divide is coming out in march? aRE YOU KIDDING ME?!??! MARCH?!!?!? that’s so far away dear penguins help me.

and i became obsessed with tøp and memorised all of blurryface (not all of heavydirtysoul yet though, although it’s my favourite) and made the huge mistake of reading a certain fic (thank the penguins for incognito tabs) and watched a ~lot~ of ‘tyler joseph and his sassiness’ compilations…

you might’ve seen this video and i decided to check it out again and oh what’s that the beautiful legend has a name. loic nottet is not only the most amazing singer he’s also an exceptional dancer; just watch this piece of pure art and passion and tell me he isn’t incredible.

i literally watched all of stranger things season 1 in like 3 or 4 days a couple weeks a few weeks ago too, and i need season 2, i need an explanation about the freaking eggo’s.

plez comment on your thoughts about literally anything from this post so i can just rant some more, or argue (in a friendly manner) with you, or we could definitely just fangirl a lot more together.

🙂 Luna

* sorry i’ve been really inactive for the past month, idk if i’ll be back blogging regularly soon or not but even if i’m inactive i still appreciate having you here for me.

ABBY la fantabulous

Firstly thanks to Ash for organising this, it’s a lovely idea. Secondly i seriously apologise for posting this weeks late, it was already late enough and then i sort of forgot to click the publish button like the pro blogger i am (wowwww applause). anyways i’m really really sorry Abby!! hopefully it will make you smile nonetheless. so…

Hi Abby! Merry Christmas (as if that’s relevant anymore), happy new year and in general hope you’re doing alright. i followed you a little while before this secret santa thing but alas, i basically stopped reading blogs. and so i stalked your blog because i am a creep.

i don’t think we’ve every really talked (this can be fixed, right?) but after reading a bunch of your posts and looking through other people’s comments i could tell you’re just a frickin lovely person. and i like how you write because to me it feels casual and real but also you also use good words (shh, i know this makes about 3% sense, clearly i don’t know good words)? like interesting words, which seems like such a random thing to point out but i really like your sort of writing. your posts are always incredible and so entertaining to read no matter what they’re about, and even when you’re just giving random updates on your life you still have that style of writing that i just enjoy reading somehow

speaking of being real, i love your new name/url and how you’re so motivated to change! your post about changes was really inspirational to me, not to be all cheesy but it really was. like everyone grows and changes, and that’s something you should strive for and accept as it happens.

i love how you’ve reached out and made what seems to be a whole ton of friends through blogging. i always see your name mentioned on so many different blogs and i think it’s because you’re really understanding and open. from what i’ve seen you can be both really supportive and also hilariously sarcastic which i think is awesome.

and you reached 100 followers!! that’s amazing and you really deserve it, and you’re already at 140! congratulations on hitting that milestone and here’s to the many more to come.

to finish this up i just want to wish you good luck with everything you’re doing, from the personal work to the 2017 reading challenge to all the amazing stuff you do in theatre (it sounds so interesting, as someone who’s never been in a play it’s really cool to hear about). i hope 2017 will be better than 2016 and you’ll enjoy your year and do lots of fun stuff! and again, i’m so so so sorry this is so frickin late i really screwed up and i know i’m a little shit but i do hope this made you smile even just a little.

🙂 Luna

NEWTTTTT

Newt is so fucking adorable and interesting i can’t even but anyways before i go insane trying to convey those feelings to you let’s chat.

so i think Queenie did some magic shit to Jacob so the rain wouldn’t take full effect and she could later trigger his memory. he had dreams and imagined stuff that inspired his beast-shaped bakery stuff, but never realised they were real, just thought they sorta came out of nowhere like a weird vivid dream or something. but then when Queenie came back into the bakery he remembered it all and yay amen

i love the fact that newt and tina got married even though i hated her at the beginning like she was just interfering but then i started to love her

i also like the theory (because you can bet i searched fbawtft theories asap) that Ariana Dumbledore was an Obscurial as i think it fits pretty well and gives some more logic to what we know.

and i think some part of Credence or his obscurus survived and that might play a part in one of the next movies (if ya didn’t know, there are 4 more. which idk about you but i was absolutely crazed with excitement when i learned that).

i think/hope that in the next movie we’ll find out what happened with Leta Lestrange as well.

what are your thoughts on this stuff?

🙂 Luna

* i officially permit fangirling in ze comments, if you want to.

The Female of the Species

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i just finished reading The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis and i have to say something about it, even though it’s hard to find the words.

it’s so brutal and real, it made me realise that people die and others live and the world is so unsafe and yet in order to really live you have to remain open.

if you’re highly sensitive and cannot deal with topics like rape, drugs, sex, animal cruelty, violence, etc. then it’s not for you. it’s not a nice book, it’s supposed to shock you. but otherwise, it’s an incredibly eye opener. because we all know that stuff happens, but this puts it into something real and something that shakes you to the core.

the way a whole town is changed after one girl’s death is incredible. suddenly realising how not okay everything is… it’s like a wake up call to you when you read it. the story is not told in a way designed to shield you like an innocent child. it’s told to disturb you, because it is disturbing and you need to feel that.

the characters are so complex, their stories all intertwined somehow, and so in Alex’s small town you can really see the lasting effects of sexual assault in a multitude of different ways. you see self-blame and guilt and fear and pressure, because that’s how it is.

as i approached the last few chapter of the book i didn’t really know how it’d end. but i sure did not imagine how it did. it absolutely horrified me and i think that fits the book right.  i know it sounds so terrible and dark but it’s real, and i don’t know what else to say. if you read it (hopefully you do), it will make you think and feel deeply, and it’ll force you to understand that the world isn’t nice, and that bad things happen to real people. it’s the sort of book that leaves you in a partial mess, deep in thoughts you can’t even comprehend (aka the best kind).

🙂 Luna